Hmmm

Next time someone does something completely outrageous and/or unexpected in public (flash mobs, obscene behavior, improv everywhere stunts, etc.) do something completely irrelevant and louder as in more attention grabbing. Basically just confuse the shit out of everyone and the people originally trying to confuse everyone. For example next time you catch yourself on a bus with a bunch of weirdos in superhero costumes, just start stripping in front of them. Make sure you throw your articles of clothing on them as you strip. Even better if ever you see someone planking walk over to them wave and proceed to take a shit in front of them, preferably on a nearby patch of grass.

everets:

It’s hard to hang out with kids who smoke cigarettes because they always try to throw them into your mouth and light them really quick and then scare you so you gasp and smoke a cigarette on accident

Basically my life everyday.

I love how when I look through other people’s liked pages there is usually a bunch of fandom stuff, shit from one specific person that they like everything they post, sappy heartbreak and love quotes, stupid band pictures, and stupid meme shit. I then realized if anyone ever looked at my likes it’s all ass and tits.

FUCK YOU, MY MIND IS CORRUPTED BY SEX.

embracinginfinity:

I was talking to my mom about Bama, a guy on campus who is ultra baptist. He got in an argument with my professor yesterday because he said we should have killed every single Native American when we came to this country. That Native Americans shouldn’t have been here. He’s so fucking ignorant. So I was telling mom about him. She said “I don’t believe he’s baptist. I think he’s atheist because he’s an asshole.”

So now all atheists are assholes? I thought my mom knew I didn’t believe and apparently she didn’t. She thinks he’s atheist because he puts down miniorities the way he does…. I have never, ever seen an atheist put down any miniority before, and I have talked to many. She then said “Most atheists are bad people and complete assholes.”

Get me the fuck out of this house. I can’t do this anymore.

I do have to agree with mommy, I am a asshole.